Lessons From a Man Who Cared
be yourself
In my life, I have been incredibly blessed to be surrounded by dozens of people who have cared about me. Cared about what I was doing. Cared about who I was becoming. Cared about what I believed. Cared about what I cared about.
But what does it mean to “care” about someone? How do we care for somebody? What does a caring person do? How does a caring person interact with the individual they care about? These are all questions I have been asking myself.
The same day that my post Be An Outlaw was published, someone who cared about me died. Someone who cared about me so much that I frequently wondered why they cared as much as they did. Someone who really didn’t have to care as much as they did. They could have cared half as much, and it still would’ve been over the top. Nonetheless, every birthday, every life milestone, every family tragedy - all the time, every day - he cared.
And not only did he care, he acted upon that feeling. So much so that if I were to remove him from the equation of my life, I would be in a drastically different place. Now that he’s gone, I wonder where I’m headed and how I will get there.
My first memories of him come from my earliest days. I remember him as a jokester - someone who knew how to poke fun and hit you where it hurt. He hit me with some really good ones when I was a kid, and I recall feeling a bit of frustration after being roasted. Looking back, I realize that it was a lesson in toughness and mental fortitude. As a young boy, my brother and I were overflowing with energy. When Uncle Rodney was in town, it was great because he could give this energy right back. Despite our united front against him, the two Watson boys didn't stand a chance against Rodney. He kicked our asses over and over again.
As I aged, it went from roughhousing to more substantial interactions. Rodney took a passionate interest in what I was going to do with my life: What was I going to be? Who was I going to be? How would I spend my time? He bought me career books, personality tests, and frequently let me know what he thought I should do. Rodney always thought I would make a great land surveyor. He would say, “You get to spend time outside and drive around in a truck; what more could you want?” I could think of plenty of other things I wanted, but I always appreciated his advice.
When I arrived at college, Rodney’s desire to care about me never ceased, but I did begin to do a better job of recognizing how powerful a person I had at my fingertips. We started to talk outside of the yearly family gatherings and birthdays that brought us together. He became someone whom I stayed in touch with on a monthly basis. In school, I was working on an economics minor. Rodney had made a career in the financial world, and needless to say, he was an economics genius. I had an ace up my sleeve during college and could always lean on him for help.
As college progressed, our bond grew stronger and stronger. It became something that resembled more of a friendship than an uncle, godparent or mentor relationship.
I owe Rodney a great deal of gratitude for many things, but currently, Kudos is on my mind. In April of this year, he asked if I was familiar with Substack. I had heard of it, but only at surface level. He pushed me to take a deeper dive and to think about writing on the platform. Completely unbeknownst to him, I had been struggling to start a blog for over a year. Substack was what I needed and a push from Rodney was the golden ticket. Rodney felt that Substack was a place where people could be themselves. To him, this was the most noble of traits because nothing in life was worth a damn if you were pretending to be something you weren’t. He helped me to craft the vision of Kudos, and without him, none of this would exist.
Rodney taught me many lessons that have shaped who I am as a person. I’ve included some of them here. Some are funny, some may influence when you retire, and others can change your life.
Lessons I learned from a man who cared:
No matter what, be yourself. I cannot emphasize enough how important this was to Rodney and how much this lesson has influenced me. DO NOT sacrifice who you are for who others want you to be. Hold strong, and stay true to yourself.
Don’t stay at the Motel 6, but also don’t stay at the Four Seasons.
When using the hotel iron, always test it on a washcloth or towel before you use it on your own clothes. Failing to do this could result in some nasty stains on your dress shirt.
If you can alleviate some suffering or do something good for the world, why not do it? Rodney was a fervent volunteer and philanthropist for local causes, and he made an incredible impact on the world around him because of it.
Find what makes you happy, then do that. This has a similar ring to “be yourself,” and it’s equally important. He told me this during one of our discussions about what my career might look like, and I appreciate it. He could have recommended I chase the paycheck or a fancy title, but he didn’t.
If you haven’t bought into the QQQ yet, you’re wasting your time. It’s up about 40% this year and 153% over the past 5 years.
Life isn’t as simple as most people set out to make it. The other side of the story or argument is always worth considering. Rodney had an uncanny ability to be able to play devil’s advocate. This was partially to challenge me to improve my argument, but he also wanted to show me that there is always more to the picture than we see. Do not be afraid of the other side; in fact, be curious.
When someone dies, it is healthy to think about the void they leave behind. It is equally healthy to think about why that void exists. Because at one point, they filled it. And not all is lost after they have left the physical world. So as you grieve, you may discover that the void isn’t so empty after all.
If you are someone who cares, thank you.
If you are someone who feels cared for, aren’t we lucky?
Amazing insight and we love your style of writing. It clearly comes from your heart!
Such a great piece. I would have loved to meet Rodney. Great job Cliff.